I recently came across an ad from a pizza restaurant whose mascot is a bald Roman in a toga that claims that they have boneless chicken wings. I saw the picture, it looks like an odd-shape nugget. Why call it a wing? It is actually just dry chicken breast cut up into pieces to loosely resemble the size of a real wing. What gives?
Actor Jimmy O. Yang is a chicken wing crusader. He literally has a bone to pick with restaurants that claim that they sell boneless wings.
Based on its name “boneless wings,” I assumed someone had taken the time to debone the wings, which sounded like the fancy labor of a chef like Jacques Pépin. But I quickly realized boneless wings are no wings at all—they are little white meat lies.
Boneless “wings” are nothing more than dry chicken breast cut up into pieces to loosely resemble the size of a real wing. It sounds like a creation from Dr. Frankenstein. Boneless wings are not wings! They are not even dark meat! They are bite-sized insults to my palette and intelligence! Any restaurant that serves boneless wings should be indicted for fraud, and thrown in the same prison as Bernie Madoff and the scammers who sell “truffle” oil that’s nothing more than a bottle of chemically flavored lubricant. I can’t believe we allow this to happen as Americans who value the truth. If people can get away by calling breast meat as boneless wings, what’s to stop someone from selling rat meat as USDA prime rib-eye?