You think by now the Stormtroopers would make toast out of Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. Who would figure there that a Stormtrooper’s helmet would make a great toaster for the Empire? The toaster would make an excellent addition to Chalmun’s Cantina on Tatooine. Nothing like toast with local favorite “Bantha Milk” to make little boys and girls grow up into desert rebels.
“This is the toaster that confirms one’s unwavering loyalty to the Galactic Empire with slices of bread indelibly browned with the Imperial Crest. Shaped in the form of the ubiquitous stormtrooper’s helmet, the toaster simultaneously serves as a literal example and metaphorical icon of Imperial imprinting, yielding identically marked split buns, muffins, and waffles with an obedient fervor that never questions authority. Twisting the light/dark selection knob in the rear orders the toaster to deliver the expected caramelization with compliant efficiency while the removable crumb tray ensures an orderly breakfast station—two qualities that will compel even the most diabolical Sith lord to smile.”